Um...Paro

A Place to Procrastinate

Tuesday, July 25, 2006
I Get a Little Too Confident... 
With a name like mine because it means protection, shelter, or refuge. I used to think, "What a boring meaning." Then I started thinking, "My name is a good luck charm!" Well I got a little too cocky running around in my little universe and I got into trouble. I wasn't careful. I've been sick to my stomach, crying, and dreading these past few days. The worst of it is over and actually, it could have been a lot worse so maybe I am lucky.
Thanks Yvett, for making me feel alright, giving me pep talks and telling me, "I love you,______and all."

Friday, July 21, 2006
Laughing 


This is my favorite photo of myself that Adam took. Laughing is so good for the soul. My favorite is when tears well up because I am laughing so hard.

I haven't done everything I wanted to this week, but I am slowly gearing up to where I want to be. Hey, I'm a recovering slacker. I fall off the wagon a lot and all I can do is get back on. So here is what I've been up to this week:
I exercised 3 times.
I found a very cute old style neighborhood diner complete with a counter to sit at. I got a coffee, sat outside, and felt quite happy to be there. Okay so that is not a productive thing but I have been wanting to visit this place for a while now.
I auditioned for something today.
I recontacted a work contact and made some business cards.
I've actually been looking at the casting listings that get emailed to me and submitting my headshot to the appealing ones.
I've been feeding my friends because I've been inspired to cook at home and try out new things.
There is a Pearl art supply within walking distance from my house and I have stopped by there whenever I need something. I have materials spread out and ideas are brewing. They haven't quite materialized but they are there, shimmering on the horizon.
I researched and found some places that I might sit in on a meditation session. I'm new at this sort of thing and want a group of people to be around. I'm going to explore and find the right fit for me.
I cleaned my car out!! Woohoo!!!

Oh, and I've been reading Eat Pray Love. I highly recommend it for anyone who has searched for meaning, or has felt like he/she lost almost everything and wonders what else there is in life. I haven't read the entire book yet so I can't give a full review, but I like it so far. Women will like it especially since there aren't enough stories of women who go on quests.

P.S. I also fixed the "look" link on the previous post below.

Monday, July 10, 2006
Independance 
I went to a desert party this weekend that was a total blast. My talented friend Adam took some photos. I am wearing the silver halter top and later a green tank top. Take a look.

Here are other photos from 10 years of peeps hanging out.

Take a look around the rest of his site. Lots of interesting faces.

Saturday, July 08, 2006
Burning Flame 
I always stood alone
But I came to face my life
And I struggled deep down inside
But I survived

(x2)
I'm not waiting
Waiting for the burning flame

Ill strike my own light
And play my own game
I'm not waiting
For anybody's burning flame

~lyrics by Krystal from the song Burning Flame

Friday, July 07, 2006
I Want 
Desire is the root of all suffering...but I want...

To drive off in a van to some godforsaken place and keep driving to other unassuming yet adventurous places.
I want a spiritually transformational experience in the desert.
I want to kiss a wild, beautiful man in a different town/city.
I want to be alone for a few days, really alone...with no radio, television, books, people, or phone. Complete silence with no distractions so that I will be forced to face my inner static.
I want to run away.
I want to visit that rural home in Ohio where I lived for a year. Where I used to get lost in the woods, stalk frogs, and listen to the trees in silence.
I want to sing really loud in a loud, glammy, "fuck it all" band.
I want to be locked away in a large studio and paint my days away and get drunk with fellow energetic artists at night.
I want to not care if I spend the rest of my days without a significant other.
I want to to be a better person.
I want to let go of old reactions.
I want to inspire.
I want to make a difference.

What do you want?

Thursday, July 06, 2006
Now 
I cannot focus my energy on other people any more. I'm tapped out. I need that quiet "me" time. Cleaning, puttering, creative time. Get shit done time. Hide away in my sanctuary and make my ideas take shape and become solid.
I don't want to worry about some people, feel sad about others, run around trying to please everyone, vex about where I've gone wrong or waste time feeling rejected. I just can't. All of this worrying and despondence is draining. I am focusing on everything/everyone around me and I am forgetting what truly makes me happy.
Today I am checking out The Power of Now at the library.

 

 

 

 

 

 


About Amparo

I live in Los Angeles and I love to photograph the world around me...(more)

My Photography

My Beach Portfolio at
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The Happy Project
(a participatory art project)

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