I refuse to open any more spam that is disguised as a friendly email. You know the kind. They try to lure you with a familiar greeting like "Hi!" or "How ya doin?" in the subject heading, but the name is usually unknown or missing. My email account sifts these intrusions into my bulk mail folder but I have actually found an email from a long lost friend in the bulk folder once or twice.

The last time I opened an unfamiliar email that tempted me with "Hi!" my heart stopped. Maybe it was really a rush of adrenaline but it was definitely a feeling of utter shock. My html graphics are supposed to be off so I don't know why I saw the picture but there was a photo of a girl with a guy's hand down the front of her pants. Now I was not shocked by the deeds being done, I have seen plenty of double x and triple x photos and videos in my time. What made me draw my breathe in was that the girl resembled me!! This pixelated smiling wannabe had very similar hair, body, skin tone, and smile.

I felt violated and almost stalked.

Who? What? When? Where? WHAT THE HELL?? These thoughts raced through my mind as I examined this photo. Who is this guy who is making this girl (me?) so happy? I looked and looked but that little sliver of a face that belonged to that hand was just to much a sliver. Is that really me?? That pixelated smiling girl was just too pixelated to tell for sure. Perhaps the background could tell me something. I examined the pixelated obects in the background over and over, even keeping my browser window open and returning to it throughout the day. Nothing rang a bell.

I racked my brain for the history of my love life during the period of that hairstyle in the photo. Nothing. Nothing at all.
I eventually trashed that email and closed my browser window. No, that wasn't me at all.